The Moon is Made out of Cheese

And if it's not, who cares? Usefulness Beats Truth: Shaping Beliefs and Identity Through Action.

Jul 01, 2024

Texas Hold ’em is a game of incomplete information. You and only you have access to your cards. There are also common cards that all the players can use. You build your best hand by combining private and public cards.

Social relationships are no different. We don’t know how others feel or what they think about us. We don’t even have certainty of our thoughts and feelings. The cards constantly change suit and value depending on the context, nothing is static.

To cope with this uncertainty, we fill the blanks with assumptions. Just like in poker, we guess others’ cards. The difference? In poker, we play to win whereas in the social game, we play not to lose.

The popularity obsession

Back in the old days, when we lived in small tribes whose size abided by Dunbar’s number, inclusion meant survival. The ones who lost the game of being accepted by the group died without passing their genes.

Social approval was everything. A tribe meant food and protection so nothing was more important than being accepted by other tribe members, especially those in positions of authority. Big enough disapproval from the group, meant a higher chance of being kicked out and left for dead.

We developed an obsession with what others think of us. We are addicted to social approval and experience a paralyzing fear of being disliked. Social media leveraged this instinct and provided hard numbers on how much others like us. Getting as many likes as possible is the name of the game we play every time we share something.

Truth or utility?

There are assumptions that you can find useful depending on your situation, your goals, and your personal qualities. If they are useful, keep them; if not, throw them away.

We cannot alter objective facts, but subjective interpretations can be altered as much as one likes.

Ichiro Kishimi - The Courage to Be Disliked

It’s not about truth, but about utility. If I told you the moon was made out of cheese, and you somehow used that belief to achieve whatever goal you have in mind: then as far as I am concerned, the moon is made out of cheese.

r/midjourney - The Moon is Made of Cheese

Identity shift

Is that it? Is it as easy as just believing anything? No, it’s more complex than just acting delusional. If your belief is dishonest, you won’t act accordingly. Fake it til you make it doesn’t work here.

Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

There is a feedback loop that forms your identity. Your behavior shapes your beliefs, and your beliefs influence the actions you take. The big question is, how can we break the cycle?

The word identity was originally derived from the Latin words essentitas, which means being, and identidem, which means repeatedly.

Your identity is literally your “repeated beingness.”

Atomic Habits - James Clear

Self-fulfilling prophecies

Our identity chooses reinforcing behaviors. People with high self-esteem keep trying when they face challenges, which makes them more likely to succeed—which raises their self-esteem. People with low self-esteem don’t try as hard, so they’re more likely to fail, which lowers their self-esteem.

Repeated action is the answer. To become a runner you don’t need a grandiose gesture like participating in a marathon. You need to run consistently, not even every day. Once the habit becomes part of your identity, it will feel like second nature. When failing to do it feels hard, then it is a part of who you are.

Who do I want to become?

I want to be a writer. I don’t feel like one so I’m here writing this. If I can keep showing up consistently and putting in the reps, it’s a matter of time until I see myself as a writer. What about you, who do you want to become?

Pablo Musumeci

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